Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

greetings from new jersey...

dear africa,
its over. don't get nervous, it doesn't mean that i never want to see you again, its just that i have to be with america right now. america and i have been together for a long time...it's my home...we have history. i know i've said that america can't meet my needs anymore and its not going in the same direction i am, but i have to try one more time. i'd just like to take the time tell you how much fun i've had with you during the past 3 months.

i'd heard so much about you before we met, i wasn't sure what to expect. i decided to prepare for everything and plan for nothing. i was walking off of the plane, it was still full of america and some lingering europe when a breeze passed through the walkway and, although i didn't realize it then, it was you... the smells of cooking food, standing water, burning. by the time i dragged my luggage out to the curb you were all over me. while i sat sweating in the back of the van, a swedish organic produce buyer explained that it was so humid because the flashes in the distance were lightning and it would rain soon. we rolled through the gate into the guest house's compound and a woman opened the door and said "you're welcome." i hadn't even said thank you.

it took a little while for me to figure you out. i walked from the mzungu mansion to danita in the middle of the day and couldn't find you. i learned later that most of the time that's when you take naps. (good idea) i got ripped off consistently at the market. it took me a little while to follow the arrows and go in the evening. once we got on the same schedule, things went a lot more smoothly. thank you for the crisp morning bike rides, the pineapple slices in the bag, swimming in the nile.

i appreciate each and every day we had together. i know sometimes we disagreed; it wasn't all lollipops and unicorns. i still don't understand why african women work so hard and are still so consistently disrespected. hopefully one day we can celebrate together when they are celebrated as the strong, beautiful foundation that they are. i won't even get into child sacrifice and inter-tribal conflict. we all have our shortcomings and we were able to do some work on our respective faults together.

as soon as it began, it was over. i feel happy for the time we had together and sad for the relationship started and departed from. i don't want to hurt you, but i don't know if we can ever really be together. we just come from such different places. you helped me realize parts of our life that are new and exciting and at the same time ancient and hopeless. people are people, right? your reality was so intense that sometimes i retreated into old patterns and habits and television to deal. i'm sorry for that. i want to face all you have to offer, but then i think to myself "can i really do anything here? is this my place to act?" maybe i'm more effective with america. we know eachother so well and have so many things in common. we share the same background and communicate in the same ways. we don't always have to speak slowly and clearly to each other the way i have to do with you, africa, and there aren't as many misunderstandings. on the other hand, maybe communication is more effective when you have to pay so much attention to it. well, i certainly have a lot to think about this winter. speaking of that, i will miss your warmth so much.

thank you. i hope to see you again. i'll let you know how things are going here. i have to see if america is the one for me. even if it does work, i'll be back to visit.


Thank you.
Love,
Amberle

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

dear friends

it is a hot, sunny day in jinja. the last week has been filled with intensity and adventure. i was finally able to go to gulu with daisy. after 2 hours of matatu (taxi-van) and 6 hours of giant bus on dusty red dirt road, we arrived in gulu town and met daisy's son, geoffrey. he had his own car and took us to a hotel. i thought we were eating, they thought this is where i wanted to stay. after much polite discussion and deliberation. i relented and agreed to not stay with daisy on the floor in the hut of her friend, but to stay in a hotel room with mosquito net and television. (although no water) we set out to explore the town and visited daisy's friend who is a nurse at the gulu prision. the town is full of pikis (motorcycle taxis) and construction. daisy had not been to town for a few years and was amazed at the progress. we drove with geoffrey for the next two days visiting idp (internally displaced persons) camps - they are being dismantled and the inhabitants told to go home; schools - primary, secondary, trade, craft - where geoffrey's sister teaches catering; and the customary (family) home of daisy's family - we met aunties and cousins and toured geoffrey's dream of moving his family back home, complete with wells, gardens, cows, and huts. it was a fabulous visit.

the day after the long bus ride back to jinja, i attended my suubi meeting. it is always a good time to sit under the trees at santa's house and chat with the ladies. i recieved many gifts, including a very funny african dress with headscarf. to make the goodbye longer, we will have all of the ladies back at santa's tomorrow for a final english class hurrah. i am trying not to be sad.

on that note. we were all saddened by the passing of our friend andrew's young sister, agnes, on sunday. she had been in the hospital for many weeks battling hiv and tuberculosis. yesterday we attended agnes' funeral. starting at andrew's home in walukuba, we attended a very moving catholic mass in the local church. then we started a convoy of our van with andrew and family, a pickup of aunties and young friends of agnes standing in the back, and i rode in a large coaster (minibus) of others friends and relations. we drove for many kilometers to mukono town and then many many more kilometers back to andrew's village and burial place of his family. we arrived to meet many many people and had another funeral mass. the family members brought the casket to the grave and at the end everyone threw flower petals and dirt. it was a powerful experience followed by confusion as to how we would return to jinja. our pleas for "same seats" were ignored, so jacob and i volunteered to ride in the back of the pickup with 25 others back to jinja. it was an adventure. the first hour on the dusty dusty dirt road was exhilirating, the second hour on the patchy pavement in the rain was refreshing, and the third hour on the highway breathing diesel was exhausting. i ended up with black lines around my face in the shape of my sunglasses, but we got good chicken on a stick. i always enjoy adding modes of transport to my list.

so i'm going to continue my going home preparation: gathering and burning photos, visiting friends, and getting ready for cold cold home.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

hola

greetings from jinja. so. i was supposed to go to gulu today, but i was put off by daisy (my guide) until tomorrow. this is after i thought i was ditched by joyce last month. but joyce came to the meeting yesterday and was very sad and apologetic. when i finally got the story from her, it was that her brother had to have stomach surgery in kampala, so she's been there for the past 3 weeks. her family in pader is mad at her because she promised to go and bring money, but she's spent all of her money helping her brother in kampala. she apologized for not being able to bring me to her home. i apologized for thinking that she ditched me on purpose. we were very sad together, me for thinking that she ditched me, her for not being able to take me.

then i remembered that i brought the computer and photos of the ladies taken by dan and katie. we all enjoyed watching a slideshow of the ladies and listening to kanye. then we watched acholi and luo music videos by bosmic otim and others. we had a great time. they laughed and sang along to the videos. i sat behind the computer laughing at them enjoying the videos. i'm not sure who had more fun.

so hopefully, i will travel north of jinja some time this week. if it doesn't happen by wednesday with daisy, i'll have to take matters into my own hands.

next saturday will be my last meeting. sad sad. truthfully, going back to work in alaska is not on the top of my "things i really really want to do in the month of march" list, but it has to be done. hopefully there is still fish in my freezer and wood in the shed. sitting in the warm cabin eating salmon is not so bad really. i had a dream about skiing.

that's all for now...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

the jinja ninja and other stories

the barrier between fact and fiction is blurrier here. religion and medicine are more often than not one and the same. myth, legend, and common sense intersect in ways that confuse me regularly...

-i have seen the jinja ninja 3 times : complete black flowing clothing and head wrap with belt and sword. to me he's a novelty, a guy walking around with (what i hope is) a fake sword; a street performer trying to make money. others think he's a magician and fear him because he can make objects disappear and potentially cast spells on people. they cross to the other side of the street if they see him.

-yesterday while making the budget at santa's we were trying to determine what time people should arrive to Joe and Melissa's wedding reception party on saturday. someone suggested 12 because people would come at 6pm. i suggested 3 because people would then show up around 4:30. santa agreed with both suggestions. when i questioned why if people were told 12 they would come at 6, but 3 would result at 4:30, the ladies laughed and told me i ask too many questions.

-sometimes when ugandan babies are sick, their parents will take them to get their teeth pulled because they are told it will make them better. some ugandans believe that whenever someone dies, there is an owl on the roof. they also think that if you dream of feasting on meat you will die unless you and those around you pray to god for your salvation.

-when we ask to split the bill at the restaurant, sometimes the waitress puts the beverages on one bill and the food on the other. sometimes rice and beans cost 800 and sometimes 1500 at the same place. the rolex man who speaks english one day will shake his head and be unresponsive the next.

-preachers will preach that women will go to hell if they don't follow their husbands' advice: including how to dress and how many children to have. strength and virility for ugandan men is connected with how many children they have. it is common for men to produce children with many women. it is also depressingly common for men to leave their women and children because they have too many children and cannot afford to feed and clothe them. it is common for these men to return if they think that the women are recieving assistance from friends or sponsors because the woman is ready to have him back.

sometimes i try to use logic to figure these things out. sometimes i think i have the answers and it makes me feel better. sometimes i realize that i mainly use my logic to make myself feel better and i don't really know that much at all. why ask why?

off to english class and party planning.

Monday, February 2, 2009

the jinja ninja and other stories...

life in jinja is quiet, quiet today. we said goodbye to volunteers katie and dan this morning who were escorted by jon and jacob to kampala and entebbe. watch out for their hysterical videos and superb photos (links to follow). the suubi meetings went well this weekend. everything has slowed down a little with the rain and the mud.

on sunday, josh, jon, and i walked over the hill to masese: a village-esque part of jinja similar to danida. we waited on chairs outside of josh's friend, clement's, house for him to return from church. we intended to assist in filling holes in clement's roof. we sat on chairs brought by a jja-jja (grandmother) and were watched by the village children as we picked our nails and chatted. after a little while, dark clouds gathered and it began to rain. clement's brother let us inside the house where we got to witness first hand what it is like to sit in the dark staring up at dripping pinpoints of light. by the time clement returned, the rain had become torrential and the children had removed their clothes and begun dancing and sliding in the mud. i'm not sure if its something they do all the time or a special performance for us. we had to leave to get to the suubi meeting on time so we walked in the blowing heavy rain back home.

later at the suubi meeting, i was attempting to expain to one of our ladies, mama rachel, that her necklaces were always too loose and i would like to come to her house . i asked daisy, our translator, to explain this to her. i noticed that daisy was speaking to agnes who was speaking to mama rachel. i noticed that agnes was translating daisy's luo into luganda. so i was speaking english to daisy, who was speaking luo to agnes, who was speaking luganda to rachel and the reverse back to me. we all found this exceedingly funny. it will be interesting when we go to mama rachel's house on friday with daisy and agnes and whichever other volunteers will come.

oh shoot, i'm out of time and didn't even get to talk about the jinja ninja...i'll save it for next time...

Saturday, January 31, 2009

good morning

greetings from uganda. it is a lovely breezy day here in jinja... a little cloudy and cool.

on the disappointing side. i did not get to go to the north with joyce. in a very african fashion, i attempted to meet her and heard from one person that she had gone to the village that morning and from another that she was not going to go, but just visit her brother in the nile. so, either way, joyce is not around and i did not go to pader.

on a more optimistic note, i know that i will go. if it comes down to it, i will pay for someone's bus ticket and we will visit their family.

last weekend, we did, however get to attend 2 graduation parties. they were hysterical. the first was very formal and speech oriented and the second was a throw down party with singers and dancers and lots of fun makers.

last night was joe and melissa's wedding: a beautiful affair at the source of the nile followed by dinner at the mzungu mansion. a lovely, lovely time.

the internet is irritatingly slow now, so i'm going to have to make this a short one because i am afraid it will not post if it is long.

adios for now

Saturday, January 24, 2009

what up

so...i spent the last week in a village called kaihoura in the west of uganda, near fort portal, volunteering with and organization called "bringing hope to the family." I painted a mural, hauled bricks, played with orphans, helped dig a well, and ate good food. it was a superb experience. the land was so beautiful with rolling hills and lush valleys. the other mzungus were interesting and fun to hang out with. it was a nice trip out of hot, hot jinja, but while i was away, things changed. jinja is now cool and damp and rainy. kind of like homer summer. i'm not sure if it will stay this way, but i do like wearing long pants and sleeves.

i am back at the mzungu mansion today and attending some graduation parties this afternoon. Tomorrow, i'll be off again for the north. i'm going to visit Pader district and the village of Patongo with Joyce, one of our fabulous Suubi ladies. I am very excited. We have been planning this trip since before Christmas. I have heard so many stories from our Suubi ladies about their villages, I want to see how the picture i have made in my head matches up with reality. I will let you know next week when i return. And I'll post more photos too. There is a new guy monitoring internet at peace and love and hope and harmony internet cafe who is not as good lenient as mike so i only have one minute for real.

i hope all is well with everyone out there. I will see some of you soon (only one more month!)

Monday, January 12, 2009

back from rwanda...sweating in uganda

so... long story short. rwanda was super. it started out bumpy, bumpy; figuratively and literally: the 10 hour long bus ride was rough and not speaking french was tough and trying to find an affordable hotel was complex. when we crossed the border from uganda to rwanda at 7 am it was so cold we could see our breath. it was misty and cloudy and you could just make out the green hills and valleys. it was kind of like home. we arrived in kigali, attempted french, and took very safe, very fast pikis (with helmets) we ended up in remera a little ways out of the city center. (kigali pronounced chigari is very spread out) we found a lovely place called hotel tech with a very helpful manager, pascal, who helped us iron out all of our transitional wrinkles. we made friends with some teachers down the street (who happened to be ugandan) who were preparing for the start of the new school year. they happily assisted us as well. we found the ORTPN (some acronym for the tourist information) and signed up for the city bus tour and found directions to see some churches where genocide had happened.

the genocide memorial was everything I thought it would be and more. i was very impressed by the way the museum was set up. The ambiance and metaphor in the physical space added to the emotional impact of the facts and stories presented. We learned that the genocide museum was built on one of the largest mass graves in the city, which continues to grow as people come forward to admit that they killed people in 1994 or after and want the bodies exhumed and buried properly. The museum continues to document the genocide and attempt to identify victims.

one of the stops on the tour is at camp kigali in the city center where 10 belgium officers in the un army were killed by rebels early in the genocide. the cement block building was left as is and has many many bullet and grenade holes throughout. the front room documents other genocides that have taken place in modern history. I was suprised to see
North America
1492- ...
14 million killed

and

South America
1500- ...
15 million killed.

I was never taught in school that the formation of our country resulted in an ongoing genocide. Yay Beligians for pointing out the little known obvious. Of course, later in the day, we learned that the early colonial Belgians started the racial taxonomy of Hutu being short, dark-skinned people with wide noses and Tutsi people being tall, light-skinned people with long noses with the churchs' support and promotion of propaganda over the next hundred years forcing vague physical appearance into motivation for massacre. I guess the moral of the story that I took away is that there were no clear good guys and bad guys and bad things happen when we all let them happen. Its no one's fault and every one's fault.

Back in Uganda...things are hot and dry and prices are going up at the market. I am happy to be back at the mzungu mansion; unhappy to be sweating so much again after cool, cool Rwanda. We went dancing again last night with the Acholi ladies. Foot stomping in the dust is so much fun. Somehow being surrounded by 50 laughing Africans of all ages, and knowing they are laughing at you is very funny when you are attempting booty-shaking line dancing.
I went to teach the boys again this morning. I missed them last week. They just get cuter and cuter as time passes. They had their interviews for school and were accepted into grade levels. Just three more weeks and they'll be going to school. I hope to visit some ladies I haven't gotten to visit this week. I think some Walukuba time is in order.

I hope you are all well and having fun in your respective lives. I'm going to go swimming at Jinja Nile Resort, its like Mexico without the Mexicans: expensive food that isn't so good, but the pool is really clean.

have fun.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

good afternoon...

yay internets.
so life here is filling up. i have nailed down a nice routine. wake up. make coffee. poop. go to town for internet. go to teach the boys at caring place at 10. we have now completed all 5 short vowel sounds and are working on short phrases and sentences. then i come home, make a banana and pineapple and passionfruit smoothie. i read, play cards, fix necklaces, chat. ride the bike or walk to the village and find some ladies to make necklaces or roll beads with. on wednesdays i teach english to the ladies at the suubi building. they are very good students. we translate phrases from luo to english and work on writing. usually i come home around 6 pm. it is cooler then and the bike ride/walk is more enjoyable. i shower, scrub the feet, and find some food. i eat lots of beans and rice and rolexes. then i read, play cards, fix necklaces, chat. watch a movie maybe. take the malarone and go to bed. all in all a pretty nice life.

josh and i are planning a trip to rwanda on monday. we will take a matatu from jinja to kampala in the afternoon so we can reserve a good seat on the bus from kampala to kigali. we will leave kampala at 2am and arrive in kigali at 8am. we will stay at one love hostel. (google it, its sweet) they are a japanese ngo that raises money for disabled people and make prosthetic limbs walking sticks and canes and wheelchairs at no cost for rwandans. we will visit the museums and memorials there. we are watching hotel rwanda and sometimes in april to prepare. i've heard that kigali is a very clean and modern (and expensive by african standards) city. people who have visited say the roads are paved and smooth and the piki drivers have helmets and reflector vests and line up in an orderly fashion. i haven't been out of jinja in a while so we'll see how it goes. we're also attempting to find the local "right to play" chapter. (google them too, they work around the world to organize competitive and non-competitive sports and games for kids with the belief that playing is the best thing for child development)

still working on going north in january. hopefully pader, perhaps gulu or kitgum.

the missionaries are going bungy jumping this evening. it should be fun to watch them fall hundreds of feet toward the nile. and then eat some pizza.

happy new year.