does this still work?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
greetings from new jersey...
dear africa,
its over. don't get nervous, it doesn't mean that i never want to see you again, its just that i have to be with america right now. america and i have been together for a long time...it's my home...we have history. i know i've said that america can't meet my needs anymore and its not going in the same direction i am, but i have to try one more time. i'd just like to take the time tell you how much fun i've had with you during the past 3 months.
i'd heard so much about you before we met, i wasn't sure what to expect. i decided to prepare for everything and plan for nothing. i was walking off of the plane, it was still full of america and some lingering europe when a breeze passed through the walkway and, although i didn't realize it then, it was you... the smells of cooking food, standing water, burning. by the time i dragged my luggage out to the curb you were all over me. while i sat sweating in the back of the van, a swedish organic produce buyer explained that it was so humid because the flashes in the distance were lightning and it would rain soon. we rolled through the gate into the guest house's compound and a woman opened the door and said "you're welcome." i hadn't even said thank you.
it took a little while for me to figure you out. i walked from the mzungu mansion to danita in the middle of the day and couldn't find you. i learned later that most of the time that's when you take naps. (good idea) i got ripped off consistently at the market. it took me a little while to follow the arrows and go in the evening. once we got on the same schedule, things went a lot more smoothly. thank you for the crisp morning bike rides, the pineapple slices in the bag, swimming in the nile.
i appreciate each and every day we had together. i know sometimes we disagreed; it wasn't all lollipops and unicorns. i still don't understand why african women work so hard and are still so consistently disrespected. hopefully one day we can celebrate together when they are celebrated as the strong, beautiful foundation that they are. i won't even get into child sacrifice and inter-tribal conflict. we all have our shortcomings and we were able to do some work on our respective faults together.
as soon as it began, it was over. i feel happy for the time we had together and sad for the relationship started and departed from. i don't want to hurt you, but i don't know if we can ever really be together. we just come from such different places. you helped me realize parts of our life that are new and exciting and at the same time ancient and hopeless. people are people, right? your reality was so intense that sometimes i retreated into old patterns and habits and television to deal. i'm sorry for that. i want to face all you have to offer, but then i think to myself "can i really do anything here? is this my place to act?" maybe i'm more effective with america. we know eachother so well and have so many things in common. we share the same background and communicate in the same ways. we don't always have to speak slowly and clearly to each other the way i have to do with you, africa, and there aren't as many misunderstandings. on the other hand, maybe communication is more effective when you have to pay so much attention to it. well, i certainly have a lot to think about this winter. speaking of that, i will miss your warmth so much.
thank you. i hope to see you again. i'll let you know how things are going here. i have to see if america is the one for me. even if it does work, i'll be back to visit.
Thank you.
Love,
Amberle
its over. don't get nervous, it doesn't mean that i never want to see you again, its just that i have to be with america right now. america and i have been together for a long time...it's my home...we have history. i know i've said that america can't meet my needs anymore and its not going in the same direction i am, but i have to try one more time. i'd just like to take the time tell you how much fun i've had with you during the past 3 months.
i'd heard so much about you before we met, i wasn't sure what to expect. i decided to prepare for everything and plan for nothing. i was walking off of the plane, it was still full of america and some lingering europe when a breeze passed through the walkway and, although i didn't realize it then, it was you... the smells of cooking food, standing water, burning. by the time i dragged my luggage out to the curb you were all over me. while i sat sweating in the back of the van, a swedish organic produce buyer explained that it was so humid because the flashes in the distance were lightning and it would rain soon. we rolled through the gate into the guest house's compound and a woman opened the door and said "you're welcome." i hadn't even said thank you.
it took a little while for me to figure you out. i walked from the mzungu mansion to danita in the middle of the day and couldn't find you. i learned later that most of the time that's when you take naps. (good idea) i got ripped off consistently at the market. it took me a little while to follow the arrows and go in the evening. once we got on the same schedule, things went a lot more smoothly. thank you for the crisp morning bike rides, the pineapple slices in the bag, swimming in the nile.
i appreciate each and every day we had together. i know sometimes we disagreed; it wasn't all lollipops and unicorns. i still don't understand why african women work so hard and are still so consistently disrespected. hopefully one day we can celebrate together when they are celebrated as the strong, beautiful foundation that they are. i won't even get into child sacrifice and inter-tribal conflict. we all have our shortcomings and we were able to do some work on our respective faults together.
as soon as it began, it was over. i feel happy for the time we had together and sad for the relationship started and departed from. i don't want to hurt you, but i don't know if we can ever really be together. we just come from such different places. you helped me realize parts of our life that are new and exciting and at the same time ancient and hopeless. people are people, right? your reality was so intense that sometimes i retreated into old patterns and habits and television to deal. i'm sorry for that. i want to face all you have to offer, but then i think to myself "can i really do anything here? is this my place to act?" maybe i'm more effective with america. we know eachother so well and have so many things in common. we share the same background and communicate in the same ways. we don't always have to speak slowly and clearly to each other the way i have to do with you, africa, and there aren't as many misunderstandings. on the other hand, maybe communication is more effective when you have to pay so much attention to it. well, i certainly have a lot to think about this winter. speaking of that, i will miss your warmth so much.
thank you. i hope to see you again. i'll let you know how things are going here. i have to see if america is the one for me. even if it does work, i'll be back to visit.
Thank you.
Love,
Amberle
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
dear friends
it is a hot, sunny day in jinja. the last week has been filled with intensity and adventure. i was finally able to go to gulu with daisy. after 2 hours of matatu (taxi-van) and 6 hours of giant bus on dusty red dirt road, we arrived in gulu town and met daisy's son, geoffrey. he had his own car and took us to a hotel. i thought we were eating, they thought this is where i wanted to stay. after much polite discussion and deliberation. i relented and agreed to not stay with daisy on the floor in the hut of her friend, but to stay in a hotel room with mosquito net and television. (although no water) we set out to explore the town and visited daisy's friend who is a nurse at the gulu prision. the town is full of pikis (motorcycle taxis) and construction. daisy had not been to town for a few years and was amazed at the progress. we drove with geoffrey for the next two days visiting idp (internally displaced persons) camps - they are being dismantled and the inhabitants told to go home; schools - primary, secondary, trade, craft - where geoffrey's sister teaches catering; and the customary (family) home of daisy's family - we met aunties and cousins and toured geoffrey's dream of moving his family back home, complete with wells, gardens, cows, and huts. it was a fabulous visit.
the day after the long bus ride back to jinja, i attended my suubi meeting. it is always a good time to sit under the trees at santa's house and chat with the ladies. i recieved many gifts, including a very funny african dress with headscarf. to make the goodbye longer, we will have all of the ladies back at santa's tomorrow for a final english class hurrah. i am trying not to be sad.
on that note. we were all saddened by the passing of our friend andrew's young sister, agnes, on sunday. she had been in the hospital for many weeks battling hiv and tuberculosis. yesterday we attended agnes' funeral. starting at andrew's home in walukuba, we attended a very moving catholic mass in the local church. then we started a convoy of our van with andrew and family, a pickup of aunties and young friends of agnes standing in the back, and i rode in a large coaster (minibus) of others friends and relations. we drove for many kilometers to mukono town and then many many more kilometers back to andrew's village and burial place of his family. we arrived to meet many many people and had another funeral mass. the family members brought the casket to the grave and at the end everyone threw flower petals and dirt. it was a powerful experience followed by confusion as to how we would return to jinja. our pleas for "same seats" were ignored, so jacob and i volunteered to ride in the back of the pickup with 25 others back to jinja. it was an adventure. the first hour on the dusty dusty dirt road was exhilirating, the second hour on the patchy pavement in the rain was refreshing, and the third hour on the highway breathing diesel was exhausting. i ended up with black lines around my face in the shape of my sunglasses, but we got good chicken on a stick. i always enjoy adding modes of transport to my list.
so i'm going to continue my going home preparation: gathering and burning photos, visiting friends, and getting ready for cold cold home.
the day after the long bus ride back to jinja, i attended my suubi meeting. it is always a good time to sit under the trees at santa's house and chat with the ladies. i recieved many gifts, including a very funny african dress with headscarf. to make the goodbye longer, we will have all of the ladies back at santa's tomorrow for a final english class hurrah. i am trying not to be sad.
on that note. we were all saddened by the passing of our friend andrew's young sister, agnes, on sunday. she had been in the hospital for many weeks battling hiv and tuberculosis. yesterday we attended agnes' funeral. starting at andrew's home in walukuba, we attended a very moving catholic mass in the local church. then we started a convoy of our van with andrew and family, a pickup of aunties and young friends of agnes standing in the back, and i rode in a large coaster (minibus) of others friends and relations. we drove for many kilometers to mukono town and then many many more kilometers back to andrew's village and burial place of his family. we arrived to meet many many people and had another funeral mass. the family members brought the casket to the grave and at the end everyone threw flower petals and dirt. it was a powerful experience followed by confusion as to how we would return to jinja. our pleas for "same seats" were ignored, so jacob and i volunteered to ride in the back of the pickup with 25 others back to jinja. it was an adventure. the first hour on the dusty dusty dirt road was exhilirating, the second hour on the patchy pavement in the rain was refreshing, and the third hour on the highway breathing diesel was exhausting. i ended up with black lines around my face in the shape of my sunglasses, but we got good chicken on a stick. i always enjoy adding modes of transport to my list.
so i'm going to continue my going home preparation: gathering and burning photos, visiting friends, and getting ready for cold cold home.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
hola
greetings from jinja. so. i was supposed to go to gulu today, but i was put off by daisy (my guide) until tomorrow. this is after i thought i was ditched by joyce last month. but joyce came to the meeting yesterday and was very sad and apologetic. when i finally got the story from her, it was that her brother had to have stomach surgery in kampala, so she's been there for the past 3 weeks. her family in pader is mad at her because she promised to go and bring money, but she's spent all of her money helping her brother in kampala. she apologized for not being able to bring me to her home. i apologized for thinking that she ditched me on purpose. we were very sad together, me for thinking that she ditched me, her for not being able to take me.
then i remembered that i brought the computer and photos of the ladies taken by dan and katie. we all enjoyed watching a slideshow of the ladies and listening to kanye. then we watched acholi and luo music videos by bosmic otim and others. we had a great time. they laughed and sang along to the videos. i sat behind the computer laughing at them enjoying the videos. i'm not sure who had more fun.
so hopefully, i will travel north of jinja some time this week. if it doesn't happen by wednesday with daisy, i'll have to take matters into my own hands.
next saturday will be my last meeting. sad sad. truthfully, going back to work in alaska is not on the top of my "things i really really want to do in the month of march" list, but it has to be done. hopefully there is still fish in my freezer and wood in the shed. sitting in the warm cabin eating salmon is not so bad really. i had a dream about skiing.
that's all for now...
then i remembered that i brought the computer and photos of the ladies taken by dan and katie. we all enjoyed watching a slideshow of the ladies and listening to kanye. then we watched acholi and luo music videos by bosmic otim and others. we had a great time. they laughed and sang along to the videos. i sat behind the computer laughing at them enjoying the videos. i'm not sure who had more fun.
so hopefully, i will travel north of jinja some time this week. if it doesn't happen by wednesday with daisy, i'll have to take matters into my own hands.
next saturday will be my last meeting. sad sad. truthfully, going back to work in alaska is not on the top of my "things i really really want to do in the month of march" list, but it has to be done. hopefully there is still fish in my freezer and wood in the shed. sitting in the warm cabin eating salmon is not so bad really. i had a dream about skiing.
that's all for now...
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
the jinja ninja and other stories
the barrier between fact and fiction is blurrier here. religion and medicine are more often than not one and the same. myth, legend, and common sense intersect in ways that confuse me regularly...
-i have seen the jinja ninja 3 times : complete black flowing clothing and head wrap with belt and sword. to me he's a novelty, a guy walking around with (what i hope is) a fake sword; a street performer trying to make money. others think he's a magician and fear him because he can make objects disappear and potentially cast spells on people. they cross to the other side of the street if they see him.
-yesterday while making the budget at santa's we were trying to determine what time people should arrive to Joe and Melissa's wedding reception party on saturday. someone suggested 12 because people would come at 6pm. i suggested 3 because people would then show up around 4:30. santa agreed with both suggestions. when i questioned why if people were told 12 they would come at 6, but 3 would result at 4:30, the ladies laughed and told me i ask too many questions.
-sometimes when ugandan babies are sick, their parents will take them to get their teeth pulled because they are told it will make them better. some ugandans believe that whenever someone dies, there is an owl on the roof. they also think that if you dream of feasting on meat you will die unless you and those around you pray to god for your salvation.
-when we ask to split the bill at the restaurant, sometimes the waitress puts the beverages on one bill and the food on the other. sometimes rice and beans cost 800 and sometimes 1500 at the same place. the rolex man who speaks english one day will shake his head and be unresponsive the next.
-preachers will preach that women will go to hell if they don't follow their husbands' advice: including how to dress and how many children to have. strength and virility for ugandan men is connected with how many children they have. it is common for men to produce children with many women. it is also depressingly common for men to leave their women and children because they have too many children and cannot afford to feed and clothe them. it is common for these men to return if they think that the women are recieving assistance from friends or sponsors because the woman is ready to have him back.
sometimes i try to use logic to figure these things out. sometimes i think i have the answers and it makes me feel better. sometimes i realize that i mainly use my logic to make myself feel better and i don't really know that much at all. why ask why?
off to english class and party planning.
-i have seen the jinja ninja 3 times : complete black flowing clothing and head wrap with belt and sword. to me he's a novelty, a guy walking around with (what i hope is) a fake sword; a street performer trying to make money. others think he's a magician and fear him because he can make objects disappear and potentially cast spells on people. they cross to the other side of the street if they see him.
-yesterday while making the budget at santa's we were trying to determine what time people should arrive to Joe and Melissa's wedding reception party on saturday. someone suggested 12 because people would come at 6pm. i suggested 3 because people would then show up around 4:30. santa agreed with both suggestions. when i questioned why if people were told 12 they would come at 6, but 3 would result at 4:30, the ladies laughed and told me i ask too many questions.
-sometimes when ugandan babies are sick, their parents will take them to get their teeth pulled because they are told it will make them better. some ugandans believe that whenever someone dies, there is an owl on the roof. they also think that if you dream of feasting on meat you will die unless you and those around you pray to god for your salvation.
-when we ask to split the bill at the restaurant, sometimes the waitress puts the beverages on one bill and the food on the other. sometimes rice and beans cost 800 and sometimes 1500 at the same place. the rolex man who speaks english one day will shake his head and be unresponsive the next.
-preachers will preach that women will go to hell if they don't follow their husbands' advice: including how to dress and how many children to have. strength and virility for ugandan men is connected with how many children they have. it is common for men to produce children with many women. it is also depressingly common for men to leave their women and children because they have too many children and cannot afford to feed and clothe them. it is common for these men to return if they think that the women are recieving assistance from friends or sponsors because the woman is ready to have him back.
sometimes i try to use logic to figure these things out. sometimes i think i have the answers and it makes me feel better. sometimes i realize that i mainly use my logic to make myself feel better and i don't really know that much at all. why ask why?
off to english class and party planning.
Monday, February 2, 2009
the jinja ninja and other stories...
life in jinja is quiet, quiet today. we said goodbye to volunteers katie and dan this morning who were escorted by jon and jacob to kampala and entebbe. watch out for their hysterical videos and superb photos (links to follow). the suubi meetings went well this weekend. everything has slowed down a little with the rain and the mud.
on sunday, josh, jon, and i walked over the hill to masese: a village-esque part of jinja similar to danida. we waited on chairs outside of josh's friend, clement's, house for him to return from church. we intended to assist in filling holes in clement's roof. we sat on chairs brought by a jja-jja (grandmother) and were watched by the village children as we picked our nails and chatted. after a little while, dark clouds gathered and it began to rain. clement's brother let us inside the house where we got to witness first hand what it is like to sit in the dark staring up at dripping pinpoints of light. by the time clement returned, the rain had become torrential and the children had removed their clothes and begun dancing and sliding in the mud. i'm not sure if its something they do all the time or a special performance for us. we had to leave to get to the suubi meeting on time so we walked in the blowing heavy rain back home.
later at the suubi meeting, i was attempting to expain to one of our ladies, mama rachel, that her necklaces were always too loose and i would like to come to her house . i asked daisy, our translator, to explain this to her. i noticed that daisy was speaking to agnes who was speaking to mama rachel. i noticed that agnes was translating daisy's luo into luganda. so i was speaking english to daisy, who was speaking luo to agnes, who was speaking luganda to rachel and the reverse back to me. we all found this exceedingly funny. it will be interesting when we go to mama rachel's house on friday with daisy and agnes and whichever other volunteers will come.
oh shoot, i'm out of time and didn't even get to talk about the jinja ninja...i'll save it for next time...
on sunday, josh, jon, and i walked over the hill to masese: a village-esque part of jinja similar to danida. we waited on chairs outside of josh's friend, clement's, house for him to return from church. we intended to assist in filling holes in clement's roof. we sat on chairs brought by a jja-jja (grandmother) and were watched by the village children as we picked our nails and chatted. after a little while, dark clouds gathered and it began to rain. clement's brother let us inside the house where we got to witness first hand what it is like to sit in the dark staring up at dripping pinpoints of light. by the time clement returned, the rain had become torrential and the children had removed their clothes and begun dancing and sliding in the mud. i'm not sure if its something they do all the time or a special performance for us. we had to leave to get to the suubi meeting on time so we walked in the blowing heavy rain back home.
later at the suubi meeting, i was attempting to expain to one of our ladies, mama rachel, that her necklaces were always too loose and i would like to come to her house . i asked daisy, our translator, to explain this to her. i noticed that daisy was speaking to agnes who was speaking to mama rachel. i noticed that agnes was translating daisy's luo into luganda. so i was speaking english to daisy, who was speaking luo to agnes, who was speaking luganda to rachel and the reverse back to me. we all found this exceedingly funny. it will be interesting when we go to mama rachel's house on friday with daisy and agnes and whichever other volunteers will come.
oh shoot, i'm out of time and didn't even get to talk about the jinja ninja...i'll save it for next time...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
good morning
greetings from uganda. it is a lovely breezy day here in jinja... a little cloudy and cool.
on the disappointing side. i did not get to go to the north with joyce. in a very african fashion, i attempted to meet her and heard from one person that she had gone to the village that morning and from another that she was not going to go, but just visit her brother in the nile. so, either way, joyce is not around and i did not go to pader.
on a more optimistic note, i know that i will go. if it comes down to it, i will pay for someone's bus ticket and we will visit their family.
last weekend, we did, however get to attend 2 graduation parties. they were hysterical. the first was very formal and speech oriented and the second was a throw down party with singers and dancers and lots of fun makers.
last night was joe and melissa's wedding: a beautiful affair at the source of the nile followed by dinner at the mzungu mansion. a lovely, lovely time.
the internet is irritatingly slow now, so i'm going to have to make this a short one because i am afraid it will not post if it is long.
adios for now
on the disappointing side. i did not get to go to the north with joyce. in a very african fashion, i attempted to meet her and heard from one person that she had gone to the village that morning and from another that she was not going to go, but just visit her brother in the nile. so, either way, joyce is not around and i did not go to pader.
on a more optimistic note, i know that i will go. if it comes down to it, i will pay for someone's bus ticket and we will visit their family.
last weekend, we did, however get to attend 2 graduation parties. they were hysterical. the first was very formal and speech oriented and the second was a throw down party with singers and dancers and lots of fun makers.
last night was joe and melissa's wedding: a beautiful affair at the source of the nile followed by dinner at the mzungu mansion. a lovely, lovely time.
the internet is irritatingly slow now, so i'm going to have to make this a short one because i am afraid it will not post if it is long.
adios for now
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